Love and Adoration

A recent email conversation with Shannon brought back one of my fondest memories since becoming a Mom.

I mentioned how wistful (already) it makes me when I think how little time I have with the Absolute Adorableness of him. It will not last forever and then suddenly one day out of the blue he will be a man and not need me and not want me to snuggle him and not come running for me as if I am the most important, fascinating, beautiful person in the universe.

Not that I have a self-esteem issue. (Anyone who knows me will vouch for that. And perhaps even wish I had a little LESS esteem.)

The first time I had this most amazing experience was back in the summer and I nearly fell over from the sheer wonder of it. I hadn't seen my son most of the day -- we had been working on-site at a campground that had a chapel getting ready for a medieval reenactment event we were hosting.

I was downstairs in the kitchen/dining hall and "J" was upstairs in the chapel. He heard me speaking as I was coming up the stairs and Rob said as soon as he heard my voice, he started barrelling as fast as he could down the length of the chapel toward the sound of my voice. I got up to the top and he ran, ran, ran on and flew into my arms breathlessly squealing, "Mommy!"

I'm not even sure how I can describe what that experience is like... it's nothing I ever felt before in any relationship I've had -- with a man, with girlfriends, family members. It's the absolute wonder and intensity of being euphorically accepted and loved intensely for who I am without the least amount of judgement, without past experiences and memories, without future expectations. It was sheer and utter joy from him to me, an honest celebration that I was alive and that he was happy to see me.

It took me by surprise, but when I think about it, I guess it's just a natural reaction of children to their parents up to a certain point...

And then one day they are locking you out of their room and hate you for not letting them get their tongues pierced or have some tribal tattoo on their face.

This must be God's way of getting people to reproduce... if they had the teenagers FIRST, everyone would be an only child.

Social Bonds

Thanksgiving brings my family together with 2 or 3 other families since I was very small and continues today, although some of the families have changed in all sorts of ways. Too much turkey, too much mashed potatoes and way too much desert and wine, this ritual comes and goes. It was a sad showing of the children of these families who join together as all the kids have moved off to new places and are too busy to find their way home, but the old folks continue on . . .

I have missed a number of thanksgivings with my folks and their friends. I mostly spent those Thanksgivings alone, or with people I barely knew wishing I were alone. I have missed enough of them to appreciate them now. Enough to see them quite differently. Enough to know I would rather not play pictionary with two teams, men versus women and so much yelling it is impossible to hear even myself think. But enough to know these are happy times with friends and family and it is nice to be near them.

I hope Wendy is happy.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm thankful for:

• Living in a warm, dry house
• Having good health
• Having a fabulous and supportive family
• Living in a country that offers so many opportunites
• Being self-employed
• Turkey!
• General daily blessings

I hope all of you have a list that is even longer than mine and that you're having a great Thanksgiving holiday.

(And if anyone talks to Shannon or Ginny, you can tell them I would be even MORE thankful if they'd write more for the blog!)